3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
Okay, this one will be emotional. Today is June 3rd, and it would have been my mom and daddy's 51st wedding anniversary. I can remember last year at this time like it was yesterday. Daddy had been out of the hospital from a COPD exacerbation flare-up for a few weeks. His left leg was bothering him, and at the time he suspected that he had pulled a muscle in his thigh when they had transferred him from stretcher to bed when he was in intermediate care. At first, I was planning to throw them a nice 50th wedding anniversary party, but after dad got home from the hospital, it was evident that he didn't have the strength to go through something like that. So they decided to just have a nice lunch out at their favorite restaurant, and they invited me along. I felt very honored that they wanted me to go with them, and I was very excited for them that they had reached the 50th wedding anniversary milestone. I drove over to their house that day, and dad was insistent that he drive us to lunch. Dad was always the chauffeur of the bunch! We got to our local Cracker Barrel and enjoyed a really fun lunch together--mom and dad doing a lot of reminiscing about their wedding day 50 years ago, what struggles they went through together, their many accomplishments in life together--it was a special moment for all of us. The staff treated them to a complimentary blackberry cobbler for dessert. I picked up the tab as part of their gift, and we headed back home.
I have this outing etched in my memory, because it was the last time that all of us went out as a family for a meal together. It wasn't long after that day that my dad's leg pain worsened and we all packed up and headed to the emergency room. We found out that daddy had a large metastatic lesion in his left femur, and that was the reason why he had been having leg pain. No muscle pull or strain, the cancer was back. And this time with a vengeance. As I've stated before in a previous blog, I became a lot closer to both of my parents after my daddy was initially diagnosed with lung cancer back in October of 2008. I am so grateful for the time that I got to spend with my daddy during those almost three years. I am especially grateful that I have a super understanding boss who let me take additional time off to be with my parents during that time. I went over to their house very frequently during the last couple months that my dad was alive. He was very adamant at his desire to stay home until the very end. And with the help of my mom and Hospice, he got his wish. I saw my mom work tirelessly after he came home from the hospital after having a rod put into his femur. From that point on, dad never was able to get out of the hospital bed that we arranged in their living room. Never once did she complain, and neither did she. They both knew they were on borrowed time. I knew this too. My relationship with my daddy changed. He had always been the strong man who took care of me--his little "Punky". I suddenly became the one who took care of him--my hero. He said to me one day, "I hate that you're having to help take care of me, Punk." I just hugged him and said, "let me have a chance to take care of you. Look at how long you took care of me--I'm just returning the favor." A kiss on the forehead sealed the deal and we never again discussed it.
After dad passed away, my relationship with my mom changed. I had been a source of strength and support to her before daddy died, and I feel like I continue in that role today. That being said, she has always been and will always be a source of strength and support for me as well. A lot of people say that I'm a lot like my daddy. And I think that's true. I know that I inherited his sense of humor, crooked smirk, and positive outlook on life. But I aspire to be more like my mom, too. She is such a graceful and strong woman and has remained positive through many life difficulties.
There was a time when I was younger when I took both of my parents for granted. I know now that I didn't truly appreciate them like I should have. But as time passed, I was able to learn just how important my mom and my daddy are in my life. Even though my dad isn't here in the physical sense now, his legacy lives on. I am very grateful that God gave me two of the best parents that anyone could ever ask for...I am indeed blessed.
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